Does your teen make a plan with you and then ditch you for her friends?
Does your teen say hurtful things to you?
Does your teen squirm away when you try to be physically affectionate?
Even the nicest teens say mean things.
I remember looking at a photo of my Mom when she was a young woman wearing plaid bellbottoms, and I said, “Did you actually think you looked GOOD back then?”
Ouch! Sorry, Mom.
I fell down the stairs this summer. Actually, it was more like a carpeted ladder, and I more flew than fell. I was just waking up from a powerful dream where I was pulled into the time of Julius Ceasar. I wanted to creep downstairs (downladder) and steal a few morning moments of writing in peace before my son and husband woke up. Before all the bustle and holidaying would sweep me away from the memory of this powerful dream.
The heart is wise. There is a deep intelligence that lives in the centre of the heart.
The heart chakra governs our love, compassion, but also our deep reservoir of wisdom.
The union of the power and stability of the earth, with the lightness and energy of the sky. That all happens within the heart.
The source of all your answers, all the guidance you need, it is already within you.
Being nice is not the same as being compassionate or spiritual. The best lesson for anyone on a sacred journey to enlightenment is to learn how and when to say no.
When we say yes to please others, and hopelessly overcommit ourselves, we actually are saying no. We don’t realize that when we say yes to the frivolous, we are saying no to the real. Our dreams, our hearts, our dearest loved ones are the ones we say no to, when we say yes to busy-ness, compulsive pleasing, and inauthentic authority figures.
Saying no is scary. It had me terrified for a very long time. I had to eventually realize that I was the authority in my own life. Only I know what is best for me. Learning to say no in a firm, clear and loving way is a skill I had to learn.
I study my friends who have mastered it the way others study art or cooking. I collect examples of how to elegantly say no. A scrapbook of beautiful boundaries. I see each memory of a beautiful no as wonderful moment of ‘yes’. I know that when my friends tell me no they are saying yes to a deeper part of themselves. For that I am grateful.
The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. It is easy to be joyful on a day like today. After days and days of rain the clouds have parted to reveal the glorious sun. A healthy dose of vitamin D seems to lift the spirits of the whole city.
On a day like today when joy effortlessly flows into your heart is a perfect day to practice compassion. I am no expert in true perfect compassion. For that I direct you to the wonderful book “An Open Heart” by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. From this gem of a book I was first introduced to some of the fundamentals of compassion.
It is easy to be compassionate towards friends and family. Their kindness and loving behaviour set us up to easily feel compassion for them. What can be a challenge though is to feel compassion towards everyone. And by everyone I mean the people who have done us personal injury, the people who cut us off in traffic and the people responsible for global calamities.
True compassion also includes compassion towards ourselves. We judge ourselves harshly, beat ourselves up and sabotage our efforts to create change in our lives. The basis for a compassionate loving life lies in loving ourselves first. From there we can expand our compassion to our loved ones and in time to our ‘enemies’. But first we must start with ourselves. We all have a spark of the divine light that created us inside of us. If we honour that divinity in ourselves then we can begin to honour it in others.
Today is a good day to start.