What to say when you don’t know what to say. Like many, I was stunned into horrified silence by the brutal and unjust murder of George Floyd in Minneapolis. Even now, I write and rewrite this. There are no words. Grief steals them from me. Even the word ‘grief’ isn’t fair or adequate.
Many condolences to the Floyd family and every family who has lost someone to hate.
Words feel feeble when faced with the mountain of injustice that has been ‘normal’ for centuries.
The extent of this wound is deep. And it affects everyone. I have a few ideas I share below on how lightworkers, healers, empaths and allies can use their greatest gifts of compassion and empathy to begin the healing process. And to do so in a way that keeps you grounded in love, courage, and action.
Just when I think my heart can’t break any more… It does.
I just heard about the mass shooting in Nova Scotia. And I broke down in tears. Again.
Since COVID-19 started, I’ve been awash in emotions. Part of being a sensitive person, and filled with empathy, is having a lot of emotions about the state of the world. I feel things very deeply. When I hear about world and local tragedies, it affects me greatly. I get overcome with grief when I hear about people passing in tragic and senseless ways. And this latest bit of news is the further breaking open of my heart.
I don’t know anyone in Nova Scotia. My heart breaks just the same. The deepest condolences to all those families. And to every family of someone who has lost someone dear to them. It’s all so much.
Maybe you’re similar? A big-hearted, feeling kind of person. You FEEL. Big emotions. For yourself and you feel the emotions of others too.
Even though it hurts so much in times like these, I want you to stay open. It’s so important to retain those beautiful, empathetic and energetic gifts. Keep reading, and I’ll tell you how to stay in that high frequency and still be energetically and emotionally safe. How to keep doing your soulful, creative work in the world even though you may be going through a lot personally and managing the energy of the collective.
This week Dr. Wayne W. Dyer left his body. While he had his health issues over the years, he was so active and vibrant that his death still comes as a shock.
I never had the opportunity to meet Wayne in person, but I felt, as you may too, that I really did know him. He was so personable and open about his struggles and triumphs that listening to his HayHouse Radio show always felt like chatting over coffee with a great friend and mentor.
Rest in peace is a blessing we say for our dearly departed, but I have begun to ponder its deeper meaning. I have weathered my share of grieving in the past few years and I will be on my way to another funeral for a family member in the next few days. We wish them peace. But I often wonder if we are really the ones in need of peace. Nothing brings you face to face with your mortality faster than a funeral. The person that has passed is on the other side, in the world of Spirit, so they have already got what we are yearning for, peace in the heart.
I often say to my students to take their own good advice they offer to another. So, as I stand here in my physical world, I reach toward a place of stillness within my own heart and mind. In the very centre, there is a deep and vast well of peace. It is spacious and expansive, nurturing and healing.
Death teaches us how to live. I think the sole goal of a successful life is to have a huge funeral with standing room only. In the end, it is not our accomplishments, titles, or possessions that matter, it is the number of hearts we have uplifted and lives we have touched. So today I choose to think a thought of peace and listen to the still voice of wisdom that lives in my heart.
“Unfinished Business” guides you through the messages that the dearly departed have for all of us ‘living’ to live better and fuller lives. The messages are interwoven with compelling stories of James Van Praagh’s fascinating mediumship. The book touches on all aspects of our mental and emotional lives and is a great introduction to many self-healing practices.
“Unfinished Business: What the dead can teach us about life.” James Van Praagh. 2009. Harper Collins Publishers. ISBN 978-0-06177814-8.
Why I Read the Book
January has been an emotional month. My dear Grandma of 93 years passed away shortly after Christmas, with the funeral held the first week of January. Then a few short weeks later I learned of my uncle’s death at the all too young age of 58.
I picked up “Unfinished Business” on a whim on the trip back to Calgary following my Grandma’s funeral. While I am nowhere near a medium of the caliber of James Van Praagh, I have, now and then, had brief contact with loved ones who have passed over.
Sometimes it is a candle flickering in a still room or a song played at random that lets me know that a loved one is nearby. Often I just have a knowing or a clear word or two cross my mind, or an image here or there.
When my Grandma passed all I could hear for days afterwards was “I am here, I am still here!” I found myself having full-fledged conversations with her, and all in her characteristic witty style. It seemed right to read more about mediumship and communication with spirits, if, for no other reason, to convince myself that I wasn’t going nutty.
What I got from it Personally/The Book in Action
“Unfinished Business” is one of those books that was in the right place at the right time. While I have been reading it, I have gone to two funerals and two friends of mine have gone to funerals as well. It seems as though death is the theme at the moment. And it raises the question “What is to be learned here?”
As with most questions I have, I reach for books for the answers. This book was a good one for me to be reading through the grieving process. As I read each story about loved ones from the Great Beyond sharing their heartfelt messages to the people they loved, a bit of the grief I was feeling melted away.
There was something very comforting about reading story after story of passed loved ones so eager to communicate their messages.
The advice from the spirits in the book seemed to echo messages I have encountered before and reinforced many of the ideas that are the most beneficial for mental, emotional and physical health. To paraphrase some of the messages: Ditch your addictions; Forgive yourself, apologize and forgive others; Let go of the past before you die; and We are here and we are happy, please be happy too. So to that end, I am re-evaluating my coffee habit; I’m continuing the forgiveness process; I’m letting go of old ideas, emotions, and general junk in my life; and most importantly I am trusting that we never truly die and my job is to live a life I love.
Related Concepts and Books
The power of forgiveness – “If I Can Forgive, So Can You: My Autobiography of How I Overcame My Past and Healed My Life.” Denise Linn. 2005. Hay House. ISBN 978-1401908881.
Dealing with fear – “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.” Susan Jeffers. 2006. Ballantine Books; 20th Anniversary edition. ISBN 978-0345487421
You are more than your achievements, possessions or body – “The Shift: Taking Your Life from Ambition to Meaning.” Wayne Dyer. 2010. Hay House. ISBN 978-1401927097.
Read this Book if…
You are grieving the loss of a loved one.
You are curious about mediumship.
You want to feel more alive while you are living.