Grow


Spring. It has filled me with a tremendous patience. Watching the new buds turn into small leaves, I am reminded if the power of focusing on tiny changes. Those tiny green leaves are the result of months and years of preparation.

It can be deceiving, when we are in the midst of big changes, to lose track of how far we have come and how much we have changed. A Reiki student of mine noted, “I’m looking forward to meeting the five people who finish this class”. The powerful changes happened daily, minute by minute.

Sometimes I wonder if it is only our focus on the present moment, and making the present moment the best we can, that causes real change.

Take this moment now, as you read this, and make one tiny shift. Take a breath in and out. There. You just changed.

Speeding Motorcycle


A funny thing happened on the way home from writing class

I witnessed a motorcyclist crash, get up, and run away from the scene. I found myself writing a witness statement for the police who later informed me that the man I had tried to help was running from the law, with several outstanding warrants. I’m a type that always looks to my life experiences to decode the symbology and the deeper meaning. The search for meaning in random events always gives me greater insight and clarity into the deeper mystery of my life.

So here I am in my role as a witness, a symbol that is also discussed in meditation. The observer, the witness. To witness your thoughts, or anything, is to be apart from the action rather than being a part of the action. In meditation, there is power in the role of the witness, because the witness is the aspect of the Divine within.

Motorcycles are powerful, potent symbols, recalling freedom, masculinity, and excitement. There is always something just a little bit dangerous and forbidden about a motorcycle. That is probably why they are so alluring. The relationship of the rider with the bike is also mythic in proportions. This is not just an object, this is a subject. This is something that someone loves. The bike and rider are one. When they are parted, there is something shattering in the experience. The separation of ‘the one’ into ‘the two’, leaves an indelible image in the mind.

The wildness and disorientation of the event caused the man to run in the opposite direction, away from his bike and his escape route. He was already trapped by his cage of fear. It is only a matter of time until the police catch him, as the determined, yet kind, officer assured me that they would. The rider was already caught before he was even found.

So what does this mean for me, a non-motorcycle driving, law-abiding woman? Maybe that the chaos I feel around me is not mine, I just happen to be in a good place to see it for what it is. To know that the wild dash in the opposite direction is a symptom of a deeper problem. To know that there is strength in my role of observer as I am removed from the action even though it appears as though it is happening to me. To know that my instincts are right, to be cautious when getting out of the car and cautious with injured people. To know that some injuries are hidden, locked away by years of trauma. The wild, wide-eyed, look is a sure sign of stress and trauma even in those who appear fine externally.

And to acknowledge that I do not do what other people do. I do not follow the crowd. I got out. I offered help. I stayed. I helped again. I was the only one. I was the only witness, of at least 8 to 10 people to stay at the scene until the police could arrive.

So perhaps, more than anything, I am proud of myself. I am proud of my instinct to help, even though it was an inconvenience. I am proud of my ability to keep a cool head, protect myself, and give instructions to others to call 911. I am proud that I could help the police, in a small way, do their job. I am proud that I stayed. I am proud that I was a friendly face in a sea of chaos.

I am different. That is good.

 

Present reminders


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Every time
I think
That today
Is dull,
A little face
Pops in front
Of my vision,
And says
Let’s play!

Creative Nudges


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I keep getting nudged forward. Just as I settle back into what I think is familiar, I see little signs, little nudges forward, towards the direction I need to be going.

One such nudge arrived today as I was watching SARK’s new video series. I saw my own name!

I had been a part of SARK’s writing class WINS awhile ago. It was tremendously helpful in getting past my inner editor/critic to start creating some really cool things like my Inspirational Cards and several meditations. It was also pivotal in getting a solid start to my novel by helping to clear away resistance. Highly recommended.

So nudge! Yes the nudge! To continue my commitment to writing publicly (blogging) and to continue writing my novel, because, as SARK says, my words are needed in the world.

Tiny steps


Tiny tiptoe
tiny steps
Treading onto
Teaming streets.
Racing traffic
Impatient outbursts.
Time to
Put your
Toys away.
Tempting time
It may seem to you.
Travel lightly
Follow fast.
Find the light
Within the past.
Some remember
Some forgot.
Not your job
To make
That choice.

Transform through writing


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I love writing.

There was a time when that statement was definitely not true for me. In high school, I did well in my English classes, but I never read a novel that moved me or understood poetry. Fiction and creativity was a hurdle, a puzzle to unravel to get an A.

I took a career path that led me through writing from the logical and linear trajectory of a scientist. Writing in that capacity is all about sequence, structure and flow. The main goal is to not lose the reader through the thorny path of data and theory, so they emerge on the otherside knowing what you really needed them to remember.

I learned the craft of writing in the most unromantic way possible, writing, rewriting, editing, re-editing technical documents until the rhythm of grammar stuck in my head. A methodical tap, tap, tapping that would let me know if there was a piece of my paragraph that was out of tune.

My writing might have stayed in the realm of technical literature if it wasn’t for a series of profound spiritual experiences that were intense and magical beyond my capacity to explain them. And I didn’t just want to explain them, I wanted to share them. I wanted to express the depth and texture and richness of my experience so that other people would feel what they were like.

For me, as soon as I started to write a feeling, I started writing poetry. What is more, I started to understand poetry. Understanding poetry was something that I thought I was incapable of before I tried writing it.

From early dabbling in poetry, to novel writing and blogging, my writing has expanded tremendously. Writing started as a way to share experience, but now it has become the experience.

I am happy to return to blogging daily. The commitment to post something daily has coaxed many great pieces of writing from me. Now, I feel I have somehow shifted away from the inner critic that says ‘you have nothing to say’, to the abundant muse, constantly whispering ideas in my ear. It is delicious.

A tree indoors


As a small kid I always loved sneaking into the living room in the early morning to plug our Christmas tree lights in and watch them twinkle; just to sit in the stillness of early morning and watch the magic that permeates this ancient and sacred holiday.

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Illumination Meditation


This illumination meditation was inspired by a dialogue with my higher, wiser self as a way to integrate spiritual knowledge into physical reality. It will leave you feeling refreshed and filled with Divine Light.

 

Please let me know what your experience is. 🙂

Illumination Meditation

 

This is a home recorded meditation, so please accept its highly original, hand-made quality.

Meditation – Writing to Your Cells


This a meditation to access the wisdom in your cells. It is part meditation and part writing exercise. Listen to the audio file in a quiet place with a pen and some paper handy. At the end of the meditation, go directly into the writing exercise by answering the following questions from the perspective of the innate wisdom of your cells. Write down these questions before you begin the meditation, or have them in a handy location.

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Meditation – Joyful Body


This meditation is perfect for weight loss, increasing physical performance in sports, and just generally having a nice relationship with your body. It is a guided meditation, so it is pretty easy for first time meditators. Using headphones is good for focusing and reducing external distractions. My recordings are far from studio quality, but hey, they are completely free. 🙂

The meditation is called Joyful Body and is free, but please keep my name attached to it if you choose to share it, as I keep the copyrights.

Please let me know what your experience is. 😀

Joyful Body

 

This is a home recorded meditation, so please accept its highly original, hand-made quality. If you would like a snazzy, high quality set of my meditations, please check out my meditation CD here.

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