If all pain caused by another only happens because they themselves are in pain, then there is no end the chain of blame. There is also little use in travelling far down that route. Blaming is not fixing.
Compassion is the route I pick when I heard about something terrible in the news. Having a compassionate attitude has helped me to stay positive and focus on solutions to issues I see in the world.
But it is equally important to be compassionate toward ourselves. This is my main mission lately. I hold myself to very high standards, bordering at times on perfectionism. Perfectionism is not a character trait, it is a flaw. Perfectionism derails creativity and wreaks havoc on self-esteem. Perfectionism is not the same as striving for mastery. Doing your best and doing it perfectly are completely different sentiments.
I have worked hard to dissolve my perfectionist ways. A main method for me is to use the compassion I feel so easily for others and turn it towards myself. The odd thing is that I do better work and I am hugely productive when I let myself just “do my best”.
Or maybe it is not that odd.