Anger. It can be liberating, like a forest fire, burning down the old and unneeded. It can also be destructive. Emptying. A laying waste to the inner landscape. In its wake, we burn ourselves out and are left putting things in order.
It is not that anger is bad, it is just that it is often counter-productive.
The object of our anger, even a righteous cause, does not change productively just because we are angry. Long-term solutions have to be based on emotions that are less volatile than anger.
Anger is, by its nature, temporary. So anything created or changed out of anger would also inherit that same volatile and temporary nature.
Letting go of anger can be accomplished. It is really as simple as slowing down your breath. When we breath slowly, we powerfully take control of our physiological state. Anger is a quick, excitable, flared up, state. We breathe shallowly, chaotically, or not at all.
Breathing slowly, in to the count of seven and out to the count of seven, this can erase anger from your system. Even if your anger increases momentarily, breathing slowly will allow it to be released safely. Keep breathing until the intensity eases.
Once the wave of anger is over, you can begin looking for solutions and possibilities that could bring lasting results. These possibilities were unavailable when you were angry, but now you can see them clearly.
Test it out. Run the experiment. Could something as simple as breathing in and out be the remedy to anger? Let me know in the comments below.
The pressure building in the sky makes my head ache and shift. I feel it in my eyes. It is a word, unspoken, on the lips of the sky.
But is it really a storm? Is it disruption or is it renewal?
But how you look at the same moody sky changes everything.
Under its brooding brow lies new sprigs of spring. Fresh air and a softness is there too.
New sprouts are there.
Just waiting for their moment to blossom and burst forth in a riot of colour and fragrance.
If you stop with me. And sit for a bit.
You will see it too.
That is hope, my loves.
It is all waiting there for you.
What if you were worthy of all good you have and seek simply because you are human?
What if it was all on the way right now and all you need to do is sit still in the sun on a patio?
What if it was all so much easier and effortless than you ever believed?
What if it was all so very easy?
As easy as a morning stretch or a nighttime cuddle. As easy as breathing a sigh of relief or a simple walk in the full moon light.
That seems right.
My son made a jarring statement in his usual matter of fact, six-going-on-seven tone, “Smart people don’t ask for help. They don’t NEED help. They can do it by themselves.”
Yikes! How did this thought sneak through?
Of course, I know that he is in his big-boy-I-can-do-it-myself stage. And that he is likely parroting a meme imbedded in popular culture. He refused to believe me when I told him that I asked for help all the time. But, hey, I have time to demonstrate this throughout the next few weeks and years. Not too concerned, but it definitely made me think about this old idea.
I am smart. I ask for help. I am smart BECAUSE I ask for help.
How much does our culture say otherwise?
Well, regardless of all that. I KNOW that asking for help when you need it is the single biggest skill that you need to hone as you go through life.
You need a balance, of course. Helplessness is not what this is about. This is knowing, after a certain amount of effort, that you need more than your own resources and perspective.
I asked a dear friend for help this morning and she gave me some solid advice and a book recommendation that is shifting my view of things to more positive territory. I was able to pull through this blip faster because of the help I asked for.
We humans are social creatures. As much as I avoid the memes of our culture, and as much as I have my own deep spiritual practice, I still need support, connection, and friendship. This is called ‘being human’.
And it is okay to be human!!!
Even the Buddha knew that the spiritual path is tough if you are going it alone. That is why there is the sangha, the spiritual community of others who can support you even as the road of life gets bumpy. Support is necessary.
Just for today… Ask for help.
Well. That’s it. There is nothing more to be done. The exam is finished and handed in. The letters have been sent. The ads posted. The request made and made again. Every angle has been tried. Every detail checked.
It is done.
It is time to let go.
Surrender is the hardest when we have the most at stake. Our loved ones, our financial stability, our art, our careers, our purpose. It would seem that we would not ever want to slide sideways into the vulnerable unknown when it comes to these important and dear ones.
The mind says “Let’s control our way out of vulnerability!”
Except that doesn’t always work. Especially when we need to wait for results, or wait for the call, or wait for the response, or wait for payday.
We are flung into the barren void.
Ouch. It feels terrible here. Living in unknownland.
So what can we reasonably do?
The only thing that has ever reliably worked for me is this:
First, surrender attachments. Acknowledge that there is more in play here than just you. There are pieces and people that need to move into place first. You don’t even know what needs to shift first. It is not your work to orchestrate it all. You can’t make it go faster. All you can do is acknowledge that your part is done. All you can do is let go of “how it is all supposed to turn out”.
Once you let go of the wishing for it to be different rather than the way it is, you release the pressure. You begin to free up energy. There is more space.
It is the way it is.
Let everything else go.
Let go of labels. Let go of the outcome. Let go of calling it a good or bad experience. Let go completely.
This is different from giving up. Hugely different! Letting go is the deep acknowledgment that forces beyond you are at work on your behalf. Giving up is about losing faith and abandoning what you want in a misguided attempt to minimize pain. Letting go is expansive. Giving up is contractive. Letting go helps you; giving up does not.
When you let go, you are really just handing it over to the Universe. You can make this easier by thinking of a spirit, being, God, Goddess, or passed over loved one, someone who really is in your corner standing in front of you right now. Maybe they even have their hands on your shoulders or they are giving you a hug. They tell you, “Leave it with me.”
Let them take whatever is worrying you. It is their turn to do their job. You trust and believe in them to give you a clear signal of when they are done. You will get a strong impulse to act only when it is your turn.
Everything else is well handled.
Listen very closely to your guidance system. Follow your intuitive hunches and instincts for the next three days. Watch and be amazed.
Let me know how this works for you!
March! Am I right!?! This month has been a curious mixture of being turbocharged creatively, and yet also oddly frozen in other aspects. There is an odd push-pull that seems to be happening between these crazy eclipses. On one hand, everything is racing forward, on the other, it all has screeched to a (temporary) halt.
Just imagine… the spring equinox, a symbol of the coming light, on the same day as a total solar eclipse (and a new moon too!). Wowza! That is a lot of confusion.
Signs of Spring is a process I use to enhance my trust in the Universe. I developed as a part of my book, Secret Art of Happiness: Change your Life with the Reiki Ideals. It really works. Just a tiny bit of positive attention to the things that are working in your life, means that the machinery of the Universe is free to help you.
I call it Signs of Spring because I live in a part of the world where the winters are long. Dark days and cold nights for months can sometimes make you forget that summer is possible. We have these seasons within us as well. The winters of our lives can be hard. They can be lonely. They are bare and cold periods where nothing seems right and nothing seems to be going your way. Nothing works and everything seems frozen with no clear path ahead. You can sometimes lose faith that summer will ever come. But just as with the seasons, summer always comes. Always. Every year. Guaranteed.
It is the same for you. Hard times are replaced by easy times. Or at least easier times. It is the cyclical nature of life. We encounter a challenge, we learn, we grow, and we return to happiness, if even for a moment. The point of this exercise is to extend those times of ease and happiness, and to increase their volume. To begin looking for tiny signs that the winter is leaving and that joy, peace, love and abundance are indeed here and getting bigger everyday.
Signs of Spring are little indications that things are shifting in your life. It is looking for the first signs of warmth, of spring, of tiny seeds germinating in the soil and pushing their way up through the ground. It is the buds on the trees getting fatter and the birds returning. It is a slightly longer day and a beam of sunlight through dark clouds. It is melting and a hush in the air in the pause between dusk and dawn. It is the soft mossy scents of earth returning to its fullness, a stretch, long and delicious and slow after a long slumber. It is waking and rising and returning to what is soft and good and new. It is a softness in the heart. It is a smile from a stranger. It is having the door held for you. It is a small tiny gesture that the Universe has heard you and summer is on its way.
Get a nice little journal or notepad that you can keep near you throughout your day. Keep it with you, in your pocket, in your purse, in your car, by your bedside table, wherever you will remember it and have it close. At least once a day, write down your Signs of Spring.
Write down a list every day of these small ways that things are getting better. Write down all your successes. Write down the tiniest detail as a symbol that your request to the Universe has been heard.
If you are wanting more abundance, it could be finding a penny on the street, or a friend buying your coffee, or even an improved feeling in your heart.
If you are looking for romance, it could be a smile from a passerby, it could be feeling good about yourself, it could be an increase in synchronicity, or reconnecting with old friends.
If you are wanting a better job or more fulfilling work, it could be an unexpected phone call from a co-worker, or someone asking you what your dream job is, or a colleague being friendly.
If you are wanting more happiness or improved mood, it could be a chuckle you had when talking to a friend, or waking up to bird song, or watching a beautiful sunset, or playing with your pets, children, or other lighthearted beings.
Write down all the ways, tiny and grand that the changes you desire are indeed occurring.
Nurture these tiny sprouts by noticing them and appreciating them when they happen. When you do this, you not only begin to feel better about where you are right now, but you also begin shifting, through Law of Attraction, the vibration that you are sending to the Universe. You then begin to powerfully attract more of what is wanted in your life and less of unwanted.
A tiny bit of appreciation goes a very long way toward improving your mood and creating a new life.
March has been a turbo, jetpack of a month for me. The creative ideas have been coming fast and furious and I have willingly surrendered to the amazingness. YogaReiki (now a thing), meditation courses based on my book material, a new practitioner space, book writing, blogging, essential oil meditation, teaching Reiki. It is a really cool space to be, the the centre of my vortex of goodness.
Not a ‘fear’ scary, but a sense of being on what Abraham calls the ‘raw and ragged edge’ of expansion. I really don’t know what is around the bend. I cannot possibly see what is in store for me. I get the sense that it is BIG. Amazing. Phenomenal. I feel it.
It is like the feeling of gravity. The subtle acknowledgement of the pull of the moon on the ocean. Swooping the tide, massively, from shore to shore.
It feels exposing. Real. Honest. Like the fresh air truth brings. But deeper into the heart. Like a soul-filling song, sung from the inside. From the heart.
Part of me is timid. That part wants to know and predict and have guarantees. But mostly, I just want to throw my arms wide and rush in, heart first.
Getting to this point, being able to tell the difference between true fear and the vulnerable edge of growth, has taken me almost 20 years of personal and spiritual work. It is a process. I am in progress.
Now I know the difference. True fear leads you away from actual danger. You know in your heart something is not right, but you stay (or go) anyway. Usually just to be polite. That is fear.
Vulnerability pops up when you are moving out of your comfort zone, towards a life expanding and enhancing experience. You know in your heart, it is right for you. It is a magnetic, resonant pull. Vulnerability is good. It means you are growing. Doing what you mean to, not what you should.
That nervous feeling can be breathed through. Just like a contraction. It rolls on through, right over top of you, and on the other side is courage. The arms flung wide in victory moment you are fearing will never come.
Move toward your vulnerability. Arms open. It is the best way to receive.
Letting go of anger is a process. It is difficult when we are overwhelmed with emotion to jump right to a positive, happy thought. Peace may feel light years away.
With the Affirmation Ladder process I created, you do not need to get to peace all in one step. Each affirmation is designed to acknowledge the truth of where you are and yet nudge you upward to a better and better place. Over time, you develop the instinct to reach for the affirmation to pull you out of anger than stay mired in an potentially destructive emotion.
The process is simple. Rate the level of anger you have in your body right now. On a scale from zero to ten. Ten being blind rage and zero being peace and contentment. Then you look up the affirmation for your level.
If you are at an anger level of 7, then the affirmation is: “All my emotions are wise teachers. I accept them as the lessons they are. Clarity is all around me.”
Gradually, anger is eased and its natural replacement, peace, becomes the norm for you.
To the right is the whole affirmation ladder for anger. Let me know how it works for you!
Hey! Hi There!
Did you know that you are awesome?
No really. I do this for a living.
I get the great gift of hanging out with amazing people and teaching Reiki and meditation. So, you know I have some background in noticing the amazing in people, and trust me when I say – you rule!
One of the tremendous gifts I receive in my classes is getting to witness people recognize their own inner spark of light. The twinkle returns to their eyes, the smiles return to their faces, and their bodies (and their lives) open up and become healthier and more relaxed. It is amazing to witness that change in people. It is truly one of the best things in life to help people access that kind of consistent joy and happiness.
Along that journey I have been asked some great questions that have prompted me to think deeply about the stuff I teach. I get inspired to create more ways of sharing the magic that happens in a Reiki class with more people. One of the biggest questions I get is about the Reiki Ideals and it prompted me to write a whole book!
The Reiki Ideals are five simple principles for leading a happy and fulfilled life.
Just for today:
- do not anger;
- do not worry;
- be grateful for your many blessings;
- do your meditative and self-care work honestly; and
- be kind to every living thing (including yourself!).
Oh sure! That is easy, right!?
Well, no. It is not so easy. That is why I wrote a book about it!
Living by these five principles has formed the core foundation of the work I have been doing over these last few years of teaching. Keeping the Reiki Ideals in my mind throughout the day has allowed me to reach a stable and lasting sense of contentment in life. They allow me to better deal with the ups and downs of life and to release old thoughts and unhelpful behaviours for good.
I have also witnessed other people shift so much, just by including the Reiki Ideals into their daily lives.
The sweet thing is that these are universal principles!
Everyone can use these five ideals to radically change their lives for the better.
I am helping to get the message out about the power of these simple ideas by publishing my book this year (For reals! This is happening!). I have also created an online webinar style meditation course called Secret Art of Happiness Meditation Course to begin teaching this self-development gold to others.
You don’t need to know Reiki to join, just have an open mind and a willingness to change.
The course is 5 weeks long and – you guessed it! – each class will focus on each Reiki Ideal. It runs five consecutive Thursdays from 8 to 9 pm, April 2 to April 30, 2015. The investment in this course is $250 and 5 hours of your time.
If you are interested, I am also hosting a free Meditation Class Sampler on March 19, 2015 from 8 to 9 pm. It is a little amuse bouche of a class to let you experience what the full course class would be like.
I would be so happy to see you there!
ps. I am also offering Reiki classes again starting April 14th. Look below for more cool stuff that is happening in GenevaLand. 🙂